I have chosen to write on this subject matter today for a number of reasons. First, there can never be enough dialogue about the "How To's" with growing a given relationship in turmoil and these come in all forms from parent-child relationships, marital relationships, business-employee or
Other kinds of relationships are those of a spiritual nature, and these too have similar problems to work through. Yes, work through calling for perseverance and a stay-with-it attitude.
The working through with an end result of desirable fruitfulness with lasting value will require a yielding, possibly more on one of the parties part than the other. For myself, I love a "win-win" end result always. Always. I have made this my practice to rise up with troubleshooting skills, and this for "win-win" results.
Even when a client/stylist relationship evolves with a problem of sort, I aim for such an ending to a near crisis that could have turned out quite differently. Whether or not it turns out for a "win-win" as I pursue, is another thing altogether as all factors and issues must be prioritized, some issues de-prioritized when necessary and for a "win-win" when possible.
Depending on the nature of the relationship such as what maturity or immaturity is in the mix - life is full of mixtures such as viewpoints that often cause issues. One's life-experiences containing reliable information will make the difference for such becomes an authority kind of viewpoint, one to be respected and highly considered as invaluable. The weaker "green one" as we might say, must surrender to the other whenever a problematic issue arises, and work with not against the one in the lead while coming to an agreement with the best solution to a messy mistake or misunderstanding.
And most problems in relationships are misunderstandings, poor communication, or no communication.
Lets face it: Every unit on earth has someone leading in some way or the other. Some lead out of self-will and their own benefit, while others lead out of concern for the best interest of the relationship or the whole of what they are leading, seeking the strength of the relationship and not self-gain.
When one's focus on a matter to be worked out is that of a narrow focus for their mental, emotional or spiritual immaturity on the matter, the other must take the reigns and bring the relationship with the problem into view to be dissected effectively and for a healthy growing relationship. Honesty and truth at the center of their relation ship cannot be back peddled if the relationship is going to grow with health. One may have depths of understanding their counterpart lacks, and so a yielding to maturity will serve to unite IN CHRIST for growth purposes.
When one in the relationship begins to feel frustrated, exasperated and overwhelmed, most likely they have attempted to take on something that is purely "out-of-their-league." This alone will exasperate a prideful ignorant heart not aware of their boundaries and limitations. This alone will find the prideful one - humility will yield, who resisted instead of surrendering. With a "one-two" kind of verbal punch, they often find themselves frustrated and exasperated. When in the flesh rather than the spirit, what more can be expected?
Instead of asking, "What did you mean, I don't understand," while demonstrating a sense of humility with the relationship, they have instead tried to take on something that is way beyond them. Backing down with something like: "I don't understand" would have been the better choice of response, saving them and the problem from escalating to a near crisis.
However, and I have lived many a crises situations, a turn-a-round is not impossible. With understanding and valuing the relationship to work through it, a turn-a-round with heavenly fruit, is possible.
Until a fuller viewpoint on a given matter is captured, and this often requires work, communication, and persistence (a "stay with it" attitude), working through misunderstandings tainting viewpoints and injuring the relationship becomes priority.
Again, we are talking here of valued relationships in a near crisis. If one or the other does not place a value on a given relationship, working through as mentioned above may find them opting out all together. A non-interested party will care less to mend what they really do not value as worth their time and trouble.
From my personal experiences, I have learned to value all age of friendships regardless of man or woman, even relationships containing a couple decades in age difference. Age can, not necessarily, create problems unless the parties involved keep the nature of their relationship in perspective. Friendships of this kind will eventually sizzle out least the two bring Jesus into the focus of their friendship, seeing one another as Christ sees them. This kind of relationship regardless of age or gender, can only grow to magnify Christ with His Favor and covering on their lives.
In spiritual relationships, similar situations exist in that there are many different levels of spiritual maturity. Some of these contain a weight of understanding for intense study of biblical principles and information, this making for authority in and of itself. If the weaker one in a given relationship as this is wise at all, with even an ounce of common sense, they will lean into the lead of the spiritually mature one and the relationship will grow with fruits of great value.
The point being, that mental, emotional and spiritual maturity is what makes a lasting valued relationship work well, all persons involved in the relationship seeing eye-to-eye with similar levels of understanding as well. Spiritual maturity - and this is what we are talking about here, is able to bring it all together as if there are no dividing lines anywhere, and only IN CHRIST is this possible.
Unless both or all parties are IN CHRIST, aiming to see what He sees, feel what He feels and take God's Viewpoint on a matter rather than their own (putting self aside), there will be troubled waters with age differences of any significant magnitude.
Valued relationships will work when seeing the through the other's eyes. They will work through issues with the desired end result of understanding. Valued relationships deny self-serving selfish wants or needs and here is the difference between spiritual maturity and immaturity. Whether the relationship is sibling related, business, or spiritual, when aiming to understand and accept that your counterpart may have well-founded well-tested viewpoints of a weighty value that contain a weight of authority that you do not have, the relationship will grow if both or all parties involved desire such a working-out kind of momentum.
While IN CHRIST, relationships can only move forward, not backwards !!
"Make ever effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace (Eph. 4:3)." This bond of peace is like the work of a peacemaker who skillfully, wisely, and considerately, gathers together all the pieces of a puzzle for the purpose of creating a relational masterpiece !
Is it a "masterpiece" you are aiming for? Do you even care? If so, only IN CHRIST is this quality of relationship possible ! And it IS possible. Remaining IN CHRIST is not impossible either. Your choices - your FREE WILL as a gift from God, will determine the momentum.